5th September 2011

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unfollowing

I decided to unfollow the fitblogs and other blogs that make me feel too much like I need to loose weight and get fit, because it’s not doing me much good lately. I meant for it to inspire me, instead it seems to just make me feel worse about myself, like I’m no good unless I work everyday to get fit and healthy and in shape.

I know, this was what I wanted,
now I feel that it’s really not,
I really need to focus on other aspects,
like the arts,
like whatever,
the inspiration has turned into a need to achieve at least as much.

I need to just do what I do,
enjoy my life, be happy with who I am,
stop sitting behind the computer as much,
focus on the real life I’m living down here,
the computer is really dragging me away from everything.

Time for change,
so I won’t be online as much, I hope.

3rd September 2011

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EAT enough dear or you will get sick and die

Wish I could stop being so afraid to gain weight,
wish I could just eat and exercise to my heart’s content,
instead of eating less and less and exercising more and more,
I know this road leads nowhere,
why don’t I just snap out of it … ?

CHOOSE TO DO SO !

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3rd September 2011

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future running goals

Farthest goal on top.

To run a marathon in less than 4 hours.
   To run a marathon without stopping or walking.
   To run a marathon whichever way I can.

To run half a marathon in less than 2 hours
   To run half a marathon nonstop.
   To run half a marathon somehow.

To run in a race. The one on november 4th will be the one.

To Run every day.
   To keep running at least 3 times a week
   To run as often as I can manage.
   To exercise, stretch, be physically active every day.

How am I going to reach the goal on top ?

First of all, set reasonable, attainable goals.
   When I reach a goal I need to compliment myself,
   to encourage myself to keep going
   and to be positive about what I’m doing.

Take steps !
   Go out there and run !
   Go to the Gym and lift !
   Do stretching and yoga whenever I can !

Document progress
   Keep a training journal 
   Document specific progress

Eat Healthy
   Document food intake
   Research and make healthy choices when grocery shopping

Some overall guidelines to keep in mind.

   Watch out for too much perfectionism, striving for greatness is
   effective when it doesn’t turn into a ‘never good enough’ attitude.

   Focus on what is going well, without disregarding the things
   that can be improved, be honest and be nice.

   Take good care of body and mind, with positive feedback,
   good nutrition, positive attitude, joy, relaxation, and so on.

I only get this one life as far as I know,
and even if I do get another chance and another,
I might as well make the best out of this one,
enjoying every minute of it
and when the joy is hard to find,
well, I might as well accept the hardship
because fighting what the present has to offer in the moment,
it just isn’t going to make it go away.

Fighting as in wanting it to not be this way right now.

Fighting as in doing everything I can to get out of the situation that makes me miserable is another matter, that is most encouraged.

Whatever I do, it’s my choice, I can do anything.

3rd September 2011

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My run

10.4 K no idea how long, I guess over an hour,
since I did walk parts of the way.

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3rd September 2011

Link

map your run →

2nd September 2011

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I feel better now

2nd September 2011

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headache

2nd September 2011

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Everything just feels like yuck right now.

Maybe I haven’t been eating enough,
or maybe just not the right things,
maybe it has nothing to do with what I do or don’t eat.

Maybe I’m just tired,
whatever it is,
I just feel bleergh
and I don’t know what to do about it
and I have to stop myself from going on a binge,
even though it feels like the thing I most want to do,
so maybe I really just am hungry,
or maybe I just want to eat so bad,
because I feel so bwerk.

IT’s so frustrating,
not knowing what to do to feel better.

Maybe I just need to feel the bad for a bit,
going to dinner at the bf’s parents.

ywerrkjhgsoooouch

2nd September 2011

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perfectionism

So yeah, I got that too,
like nothing is ever good enough
and if it’s not going to be good enough
why bother.

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2nd September 2011

Video